The Days Of My Life: All Of Them

by Daisy Brunger

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Daisy Brunger asked us to say that “[She’s] an everyday woman who you just don’t come across everyday. That’s the kind of humility that makes [her] the best.”

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Day 13,438…

A yearly reminder to all those new to my life: Blah, blah, blah, just read it and stop your questions.

Day 13,439...

I wonder what I’ll be doing tomorrow. Maybe I’ll be [Edited]. Oh Daisy! Wouldn’t that be something! I surprise me everyday. I’m a silly thing. So full of mischief and wonder.

Day 13,504…

Many of my listeners have been wondering where I’ve been. Stop wondering that.

Day 13,505…

We often look to celebrities for inspiration. Inspiring people takes raw, uncooked, hazardous talent, and people aren’t born with that stuff. It takes hard work, soul searching, and other people’s ideas. As a celeb, I can genuinely say that’s it’s hard to be me, Daisy Brunger. I’m Daisy Brunger. As Daisy Brunger, I find it annoying that people criticize celebrities for their flaws and bad speling. You wouldn’t tell Alexander the Great how to build an empire. So stop correcting me and stop telling me I can’t sing.

Day 13,506…

Something just occurred to me. My goal in life, or “Life Goal”, is to be remembered. People forget that sometimes. I know I do. Life’s tough. There are peaks and plunges, shampoo and sponges. It’s exactly like surfing. That’s why I recommend surfing as a “Life Tool”. And clean those dirty hands.

Day 13,507…

We’ve all thought about killing ourselves at one point or another or today. Don’t do it. I know I didn’t. I feel as though I’m better off and more alive because of it. Death is the biggest decision of your life. Bigger than prom and bigger than the biggest flower in the world!



Rafflesia Arnoldii - the world’s largest flower.
“It’s inspiring”, says botanist Terry Bradshaw.

Most people say, “But Daisy, I always thought marriage was the biggest decision.” I wish people would stop trying to correct me. Others say, “But Daisy, um, isn’t it true that…uh…” What are you getting at, pipsqueak? Death is the ultimate marriage. I’ve asked around and it turns out there’s no divorcing death or marriage. Death and marriage are marriage to the Xtreme!

Day 13,508…

I’ve been reading sacks of fan mail. Well, well, well! Turns out not all of you are fans. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well! Anyway, I appreciate when I or somebody takes the time to tell me about how my days have affected their life or how my days have inspired them to send provocative photos. I like reading that stuff. But some of you…ugh. Please stop. Perhaps a system should be put into effect that would allow me to sort the nice people from the rest of you bozos and bimbos. Please label your letters “Fan” or “Not a Fan”. This should be visible from the outside of the envelope. No sneaky stuff. If “Not a Fan”, please wear this patch:



Day 13,509…

Against all warnings, I’ve listened to the song, “Right Here, Right Now” by Jesus Jones, for 8 hours in a row. I think that’s saying something. It’s saying that I’ve listened to this song for 8 hours in a row. Yeah! Sometimes you just have to search for the meaning. It’s there. Grab it! More famous words were never spoken, Dolph Lundgren.


“Please, call me Dolphin Lundgren”, says local dolphin.

Day 13,511…

I want to thank all the naysayers and gloomy Gus’s. Thanks. Thanks for nothing.

Day 13,512...

Most of all I want to thank the fans. Without you, the world would be devoid of human life. I have a lot of fans.

Day 13,513…

I learned something, though. I learned that it’s not all fun and games and jokes and riddles. I guess I also learned that success takes luck. I can’t remember how, but somehow I think it’s true.

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Daisy Brunger is one clever lady. So clever, that she's actually a man named Cory Zerbe, who aspires to be a male role model. Please go here for more information.