Hey, Mr. Gabardine Man: Our Bob Dylan Interview

By Brian Beatty

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A lot of media buzz has surrounded the release of Bob Dylan's latest CD, Modern Times, and novelist Jonathan Lethem's interview with the music legend for Rolling Stone. Much less touted in the press has been Brian Beatty's sit-down with Dylan for Duct Tape & Rouge.

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DT&R: Nice cowboy suit, Bob.
Dylan: Thanks. It matches my boots.

DT&R: And your hat! You're a very fashionable man, if you'll allow me to say so. That's something fans of your music often overlook. They rarely mention it, anyway.
Dylan: I try.

DT&R: Now that I've established you're a man of taste, what's with the moustache?
Dylan: Ever hear of Snidely Whiplash? He's this cartoon character that I really dig. I'm into more than just dead blues men and Victoria's Secret models.

DT&R: I read your book. You know another Minnesota musician who should write a book? Paul Westerberg.
Dylan: I thought you were going to say Prince.

DT&R: I wasn't, but what a great idea! I'd love to know what he thinks of Dave Chappelle playing him in that sketch where he (Prince) cooks up a batch of pancakes for everybody after a basketball game against Charlie Murphy and his posse. Chappelle was tons funnier as Prince than he was as Rick James.
Dylan: I'm Rick James, bitch!

DT&R: I'm Rick James, bitch!
Dylan: God rest his soul.

DT&R: How did the brother of Eddie Murphy merit a posse?
Dylan: You'd be surprised all the folks who had posses back in the 80's. Even G.E. Smith had a posse, man.

DT&R: I'm G.E. Smith, bitch!
Dylan: You got any more questions?

DT&R: You're hosting your own satellite radio show. Do astronauts call in many request
Dylan: My dry cleaner's got better jokes than that. My haberdasher, too.

DT&R: Well, our time's about up. Before I go, could you teach me a few chords on this guitar I snuck past your security guy?
Dylan: If it had strings on it, maybe I would.

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Brian Beatty lives in Minneapolis, where Dylan lived a long time ago. His writing has appeared in numerous print and online publications. Brian Beatty, that is. Dylan's written books.